Hello! I’ve finally gathered the courage to write because I can no longer keep all this inside. I’ve been married for several years. I have three children; the eldest is 8 years old. As it happens, our family doesn’t have a place of our own. I’m the only one working, earning a small salary. It’s impossible to save up even for decent housing. My aunt has taken us in. She felt sorry for my children and allowed us to stay as long as we need.
Please don’t misunderstand—my husband works too, but all his money goes toward buying construction materials. We purchased a small plot of land and are building a house. I so desperately want us to have our own home, even if it’s tiny, but ours. It’s fortunate that we don’t need to pay builders; he knows how to do everything himself.
The years of marriage have flown by quickly. Our life has had its ups and downs, good times and bad. Everything would be bearable, but my husband sometimes raises his hand against me. He’s a wonderful father, and the children adore him. They’re always so happy when he comes home. He grew up without a father, who abandoned him and his mother. His mother probably never taught him that hitting a woman is wrong. His blows leave my body covered in bruises or marks that take a long time to heal.
I met my husband when I was still in school; he’s a few years older than me. We didn’t even date for long—I thought he was a prince charming. Before the wedding, he was so attentive, showering me with gifts. I could never have imagined he’d turn out to be such a tyrant. At first, everything was calm. The trouble started when our eldest child was born.
I was always home alone, with no one to help me. I was exhausted and asked him to watch the baby for a bit so I could grab coffee with a friend. He got so angry and hit me with his fist right in the ear. The pain and humiliation were indescribable. Naturally, I didn’t go anywhere.
His aggression has only grown worse over the years. It used to happen rarely, but now it’s like he’s lost his mind. Recently, he hit me hard just because I said our daughter shouldn’t eat salad straight from the fridge—she could get sick. He struck me so forcefully that I flew across the kitchen. After that incident, I even had to take sick leave. I try to please him, but he’s always dissatisfied.
There was a particularly horrific incident recently. Our children attend swimming lessons, and I drove them to practice after work. When I got home, he was about to feed our youngest cold porridge. I simply told him we have plenty of ways to warm it up. Then I took the plate and started heating it myself. The baby began to fuss a little. He flew into a rage and hit me so hard it felt like my head might come off. For what?
He finds any excuse to start a scene with violence. If I quietly wash his clothes, he yells that I’ve been rummaging through his pockets. If I ask, he screams about why I can’t see the clothes are dirty. My bruises don’t have time to fade before new ones appear. I have no one to confide in. My parents live far away, and they wouldn’t support me. They believe that anything can happen in a family and spouses should sort it out themselves.
I can’t tell any friends either because I don’t have any left. My husband forbids me from seeing anyone. That’s how my life goes. I don’t know how to keep living with this man. But I can’t leave him either—I have children, and they’re so young. Who would want them? They love their father so much, and he loves them too.
My life feels ruined forever. I don’t feel happy or wanted at all. There are moments when I want to drop everything and run away, anywhere. I think it’s not good for the children to see their father hitting their mother. Our youngest already has emotional issues.
I recently got out of the hospital, where I stayed with our youngest. While I was at work, he left her unattended. She rolled over and fell, hitting her head on the floor. The result was a hematoma and multiple bruises. He didn’t hit her, of course, ause of him.
I know I have nowhere to go and will stay with him. I have to do it for my children. Sometimes I want to fight back. Should I tell his mother about his behavior? What if it makes things worse? Please advise!
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