I got married a few years ago. From the very start, my future husband made one thing clear: we had to live with his mother. They have a small two-bedroom apartment; his father isn't in the picture, and Mark is her only child.
I didn't fight it at first. I figured having an experienced woman around would be a help. In the beginning, that was actually true. We weren't exactly best friends, but we got along well enough. Then I got pregnant. When I was struggling with terrible morning sickness, instead of offering support or a helping hand, my mother-in-law constantly made snide remarks. It honestly shocked me—after all, she's a woman too.
***
Once the baby was born, things really started to come to a boil. Now, I can't stand being in the house. When Mark is at work, I try to find any excuse to leave. Sometimes he stays late at the office, and I just wander the neighborhood with the stroller. If she's home and I haven't managed to get out in time, I pretend to be nap with the baby just to avoid her.
People might ask, "What is it that gets under your skin so much?" I'll tell you: it's the fact that she's constantly sticking her nose where it doesn't belong. She made it a rule that there are to be no locks on our bedroom door. Mark, of course, went along with it. I hate it. I don't feel like I have any freedom in my own home. She'll burst into our room without knocking or asking, and she couldn't care less what we're doing in there.
One time, she swung the door open while I was changing. Even though I was half-undressed, she didn't get embarrassed or back out. She just walked right in and sat down on our bed. She acts like she owns the place. I mean, I get it—technically, she does. It's her house, and she has the right to run it how she wants. But not in my bedroom!
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Lately, I've noticed something that really pushed me over the edge. When we aren't home, she goes through our things like a bloodhound. She eavesdrops whenever I'm on the phone and even shouts her "expert" opinions from the other room. If I try to walk away because I don't want to hear it, she follows me. It's a nightmare.
She interferes in literally everything. If Mark and I are having a private conversation, she's right there, inserting some unwanted opinion that nobody asked for. When we first got married, it didn't grate on me as much. I figured she was just lonely. But it's only gotten worse. Since the baby arrived, she's become obsessed. She constantly tries to lecture me on how to raise my own son. It's never helpful advice, either; it's just endless nagging and criticism of every single thing I do.
I don't want to brag, but I'm a good mother, a good wife, and I keep a clean house. My family is well-fed and their clothes are always clean and pressed. I just don't have the desire to spend six hours a day slaving over a five-course meal. Once, I tried to make some pancakes from scratch, and she badgered me so much that I just walked away and locked myself in my room.
***
I talked to Mark about it recently. He sees what's happening too, but he just asks me to be patient. He says we'll be able to get a mortgage soon, but we aren't there yet. He argues with his mother, too, but it's useless. No one who doesn't know her well would ever believe she's such a vampire, sucking the life out of us. To outsiders, she's so sweet—always offering treats and helping people—but behind closed doors, she makes life unlivable. It's gotten so bad that she even called my parents to complain about us. And they actually believed her instead of their own daughter!
And just the other day, she brought up our wedding. Can you believe that? It's been years, and she's still stewing over it. She started demanding that my parents pay her back for half of the reception. We had a beautiful wedding, sure, but nobody asked her to throw an event like that. She just wanted to show off for her friends. And now my family and I are supposed to pay the price?
I don't know how much longer I can live like this. I can't stand her. I honestly try to avoid conflict by staying in my room, but she just barges in anyway. I feel guilty for hating my husband's mother this much, but I can't help it. Mark and I have started fighting because of her, too. And the worst part? She seems happy about it.
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