"Kate, what on earth are you doing?!"
Mark strode toward his wife, and she closed her eyes in terror, bracing for a blow. But he only snatched their daughter's coat out of her hands.
"I'm not letting you take Lily! Where are you going to go? You have nowhere! You idiot, you want to live in the gutter yourself, and you're dragging the child down with you!"
Kate burst into tears again. She had no strength left to look at her husband's smug face and listen to his insults.
"I'd rather live in the gutter than with you!" she shouted. "I told our daughter you were a 'hero' at work, while all that time you were cheating on me with that teenager! You betrayed me, and you betrayed Lily! She waited for you; she didn't want to go to sleep without her daddy's bedtime story! And I—I was a fool, a complete fool—thinking about what delicious dinner to cook for you while you were..."
The tears choked her, making it hard to speak, to breathe, to live. There was nothing but a raw wound, a black hole where her heart used to be. With a surge of strength she didn't know she possessed, Kate wrenched the coat back from Mark's hands.
"Get out of my way!" she hissed. "I'm asking you nicely, don't interfere. Go live your wonderful life, sleep with whoever you want, but do it without us. Without us, do you understand?!"
She hurried into the nursery. Lily, her miracle, her fragile little flower, was sitting on the floor crying. Right in front of her lay a massive duffel bag. It was unzipped, filled with hastily thrown clothes and toys... like a hungry mouth swallowing up the pieces of their quiet family happiness.
"Sweetie," Kate pulled the little girl close. Every one of her daughter's tears cut her like a knife. "Lily, let's put on your coat. My brave girl, my beautiful little princess, please don't cry!"
"Why are we leaving, Mommy?" the girl looked up imploringly. "This is our home. My room is here, my bed is here, Daddy is here. How will we be without Daddy?"
Mark walked over to the girl and sat on the floor beside her.
"Things happen in life, Lily-Bug," he sighed. "But I'll still come see you. And I'll send money. We'll still go for walks, okay? We'll get ice cream, just like before. Remember how we used to go to the park for ice cream?"
Crying, Lily threw her arms around her father's neck. Kate turned away. "This is the last of it, the very last bit of pain," she whispered to herself. "This will be over soon, we'll leave, and he'll never be able to hurt us again." But the tears continued to sting her eyes, her hands shook, and it was hard to keep packing the small clothes into the bag.
***
"And then," Kate wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, "nothing happened after that, Mrs. Gable. Nothing! He promised Lily... promised he'd see her, that he'd visit. And he hasn't called once. I kept thinking, well, maybe he's just busy for a day, maybe two... Maybe he's struggling with it all. But then a week went by, then two. Not a word. Lily cries; she misses him so much. I thought, fine, to hell with him, I'll call him myself. Not for me—for the child!"
"And what did he say?" the landlady reached into a first-aid kit, took out two sedative pills, and handed them to Kate.
"He said," Kate took a deep breath; saying it out loud was agonizing, "he said that since we... since I decided to leave him and take his daughter... then our lives are no longer his concern. And he told me never to bother him again."
"Bastard," Mrs. Gable concluded. "They're all bastards, Kate. Yours is no different from the rest. They love the children as long as they love the mother, and then..." She waved her hand dismissively. "Ex-wife, ex-kids. You're sitting here crying, your heart breaking for your daughter, but his isn't. Forget about him, honey. It'll be easier for you that way. Here, take the pills, it'll take the edge off." Kate obediently washed the pills down with the remains of her tea.
"I'm going back to my room, Mrs. Gable. Lily is all alone..."
Lily was asleep, clutching a book her father had given her. She couldn't read yet, of course; she just looked at the pictures. But since the moment they left, she hadn't let go of that book, even in her sleep. A memory of her father...
Kate gently eased the book out of the small hands. It was a hardcover; the corners were sharp—she might bump her head in her sleep. For the hundredth time, Kate scanned the room. She and Lily had lived here for two weeks, but every morning she woke up unable to understand where she was or how she had ended up here. The walls were shabby, not even papered, just painted in a peeling, dull blue. There was a lumpy striped sofa and windows with gaps that let in a brutal draft at night. Unfortunately, this was all she could afford.
The landlady, Mrs. Gable, lived in the same apartment. She rented another room to two young women, Lily and Nikki. They were supposed to be students, but Kate often noticed how, after short phone calls, they would quickly do their makeup and disappear for a few hours. Their outfits were expensive but tasteless and provocative.
"Call girls," Kate realized. Mrs. Gable just shrugged.
"What difference does it make to us? They pay on time, they don't bring men back here, and they're quiet. Whether they're pros or janitors... who cares?" In this apartment, it seemed like nothing mattered to anyone. The hallway floors hadn't been washed in weeks, the bathtub drain was always clogged with Lily and Nikki's long hair, the cabinet doors wouldn't stay shut, and the drafts came from everywhere. Yet, strangely, Kate felt okay here. All this disorder and the indifferent company of strangers felt like a reflection of her own life.
Once, a thousand years ago, she and Lily had a home. Someone looked after them; someone cared. In that life, there were bedtime stories, Sunday strolls, trips to the movies, and holidays. And then a hurricane ripped through their cozy little world. It swept everything away, leaving only ruins... and on those ruins, she had to survive.
"Kate!" Mrs. Gable peered into the room. She never knocked before entering. "The girls brought some wine. Come have a drink with us."
"But Lily..."
"She's asleep!" the landlady said, surprised. "Come on, don't sit in here like a hermit."
"I'm coming," Kate decided.
The kitchen was buzzing. Lily was setting the table like a magician. Instead of a top hat, she had a grocery bag, and instead of a rabbit, she pulled out oranges, thick bars of chocolate, piles of candy, sliced cheese and deli meats, pastries, and yogurts. At the sight of the food, Kate felt a wave of dizziness; she couldn't remember the last time she'd had a real meal. She'd been living on scraps—a piece of cheese here, a cracker there. Money was tight. Kate had recently realized the jeans she'd worn when she left home were now sagging; she was constantly pulling them up as she walked.
Nikki, catching her neighbor's hungry look, quickly stepped to the table and built a massive sandwich.
"Here," she said, handing it to Kate.
"Th-thank you."
Without answering, Nikki uncorked a bottle of wine and poured a full glass.
"Drink. But slow, or you'll keel over right here."
Kate looked at this girl, essentially a stranger, and this unexpected kindness from a stranger made her want to cry. She downed half the glass in one gulp. The drink was pleasantly warming. A long-awaited heat spread through her body—Kate had been cold constantly lately. Suddenly, the dingy, dirty apartment felt like a welcoming, peaceful home, and the faces of her neighbors and the landlady felt like family. These women, brought together by pure chance, actually cared about her. They filled her glass, pushed plates of food toward her, listened to her, and sympathized with her pain as best they could.
For the first time in two weeks, Kate felt she wasn't alone. Before bed, she read a story to Lily, stumbling over the words and laughing at herself.
***
"Kate! Kate, wake up!"
Kate winced at the sound of the voice and tried to shake off the hand jostling her shoulder.
"What? What happened?"
It was hard to open her eyes; her eyelids felt like they were made of lead. Finally, she managed. Kate looked around in confusion. Apparently, she had fallen asleep right at the kitchen table. Mrs. Gable was standing over her.
"You almost started a fire!"
"Me? Oh..."
The landlady's voice echoed painfully in her throbbing head. It was unbearable.
"Mrs. Gable, can you be a little quieter? My head hurts so much... I was making soup. I was waiting for it to boil and I must have drifted off."
"I could tell you exactly why your head hurts."
Mrs. Gable pointedly picked up Kate's mug from the table, sniffed it, and curled her lip in disgust.
"Tea," Kate stammered.
"Right. With the aroma of cheap port. Honestly, Kate! Aren't you ashamed? A young woman, a mother..."
"I... I... I'm sorry."
"How strange," a thought drifted through her hungover brain, "I don't feel ashamed at all."
***
In the beginning, when the kitchen gatherings were just becoming regular, Kate still tried to hide the smell of alcohol from her daughter. She would brush her teeth for a long time and then chew mint leaves or orange peels. She tried not to show she was drunk, acting as normal as possible. Gradually, that effort faded. Kate developed a habit of leaving a glass of wine for the night and drinking it once she was in bed. it helped her fall asleep, and even the hated drafts bothered her less.
Unfortunately, the "insomnia medicine" had an unpleasant side effect: in the mornings, her head felt like it was splitting open. But the pain miraculously vanished if she had just half a glass more. Soon, Kate discovered another wonderful property of alcohol: it gave her energy and numbed the heartache. Throughout the day, she would take small sips from the bottle, not noticing when one sip stopped being enough. She moved to two sips, then three... In the evenings, when she'd had quite a lot, Kate would lie on the sofa, staring blankly at the ceiling. Lily would come up to her, saying something... Kate wouldn't respond, hoping the girl would get bored and go away. In fact, the child's presence was beginning to feel like a burden. Kate wanted to hide, to wrap herself in a cocoon and lick her wounds, but her daughter kept prodding her, pulling her back into the outside world. It was irritating.
***
Autumn brought gray clouds and frequent rain. The days grew shorter, but Kate was glad; she could wake up, lie to herself that it was still the middle of the night, and go back to sleep.
"Kate, you really should find a job," Mrs. Gable advised. "Your husband isn't paying child support, just pennies, and you're drinking those away. Look, it's fall already, and Lily doesn't have boots or a warm coat."
"I can't," Kate shook her head.
The landlady noticed that Kate's hair hadn't seen a brush in a long time. Kate just pulled the tangled strands into a ponytail and left it that way all day. In the evenings, she didn't always remember to take the hair tie out.
"Why can't you? How are you going to live? Do you expect me or the girls to keep feeding your kid? This can't go on forever."
"I can't," Kate repeated stubbornly, "I can't stand being around people."
She wrapped her bathrobe tighter around her. It had once been white and soft, but now it was covered in stains from food, wine, and tea. In some places, the fabric was worn nearly to holes.
***
"Mommy!"
"What?"
She and Lily were sitting on a bench near the house. The sun had decided to show itself for once, and Kate, in a drunken daze, tilted her face toward the fading rays.
"Mommy, maybe you shouldn't drink wine? You've changed. You're so sad and you're always quiet."
"I have to. It makes it easier to live."
"Mommy... why doesn't Daddy come visit?"
"I don't know. Probably because he doesn't want to."
She didn't like this conversation. She wanted Lily to be quiet, or at least to stop asking questions Kate didn't have answers for. At the same time, a surge of anger toward Mark rose inside her. He made all those promises to his daughter, and now she had to explain why he didn't keep his word.
"Does Daddy not love us anymore?"
"No," Kate spat the word through her teeth. "He has someone else to love now."
"Who?" Lily persisted.
A tall man walked out of the house across the street. He fumbled slightly while getting his car keys out.
"He loves another woman!"
She couldn't hold the anger back anymore. The words, sharp and unstoppable, flew off her tongue, and Kate didn't try to stop them. On the contrary, it felt better to stop lying and pretending.
"He found himself a new wife, and he loves her now, not us. He's forgotten all about us, do you understand now?! Just leave me alone! God, I am so tired!"
The man looked up and stared intently at Kate.
"Don't speak to the child like that, please," he said gently. "It hurts her to hear that."
"It hurts?"
Kate stood up from the bench with some effort. The man was a bit taller, but now she didn't have to look up at him from below.
"What about my pain? Does anyone think about me?! Or am I not a person anymore? Just because I have a child, I'm not a human being?!"
"Daddy found a new wife," Lily said to the stranger, "so we can't live at home anymore?"
"Katherine Miller?" a woman's voice called out from behind her.
Kate turned around. "Yes."
"I'm Sarah Jenkins, from Child Protective Services. We received a report..."
"A report? What kind of report?" Kate stared blankly at the ID the woman was showing her.
"A report from your neighbor, Lily Evans. She claims you are abusing alcohol and neglecting your daughter... Lily, right? We are required to take the child into state custody pending a hearing."
"A hearing... for what?"
"To terminate your parental rights," Sarah Jenkins said with a shrug, taking Lily by the hand.
"Wait! This is a mistake!"
Kate, instantly sobered by the shock, ran after the woman.
Sarah Jenkins carefully buckled Lily into a car seat and turned back to Kate.
"It's better if you don't cause a scene. It will only be used against you in court." The car started to pull away.
"Stop!" Kate chased after the vehicle, but a hand caught her arm.
"Kate, stop!"
It was the same man from the street.
"Let me go!"
"No. Listen, I know Mrs. Gable, and I know what happened to you. But this can be fixed! I'm a lawyer, I can help you. First of all, you have to quit drinking. If it makes things easier, you can stay at my place for now. Here are the keys—I live alone, you have nothing to fear."
"Yes... yes..."
Kate gasped for air; it was suddenly hard to breathe.
"Good. Now, second: you need to get a job. I actually happen to be looking for an assistant, and I'm willing to hire you. Do you agree?"
"Yes... What is your name?"
"Alex Sterling. Kate, remember: not another drop if you want your daughter back."
***
"All the paperwork is ready!" Alex Sterling announced triumphantly. "We're heading to the agency at two o'clock to get Lily back!"
"Today?!" Kate jumped up.
The lawyer noticed how much she had transformed in just six weeks. She was no longer painfully thin; her beige suit complemented her elegant figure perfectly. Her dark hair was neatly styled in a simple but sophisticated way.
"I didn't want to tell you too far in advance," the man smiled. "You would have worried yourself sick, and being nervous wouldn't help the case."
The review board consisted of three people. They meticulously studied every document Alex presented: Kate's employment records, her income statements, and a certificate from a specialist confirming she was leading a strictly sober life.
"Well, Katherine, everything looks excellent. I want to congratulate you on recognizing your responsibility to your child."
Sarah Jenkins' voice was professional, but there was a hint of warmth in it now.
"The only concern remains: you are divorced from Lily's father, and you don't have a permanent residence of your own."
"Ms. Jenkins," the lawyer interceded, "that issue has already been resolved. The truth is, Katherine and I have decided to get married. I own a large house, and we will be living there."
***
It was a beautiful Indian summer day. Sunlight tangled in the spiderwebs drifting on the light breeze. Lily stood close, pressing herself against her mother's side.
"Thank you, Alex," Kate said sincerely. "Thank you for everything! You saved us. And... for lying about the wedding, too."
The man took Kate's hand.
"I wasn't lying, Kate," he said softly. "I'm a lonely man, and I can't have children of my own... I should tell you: I reached out to your ex-husband for help, but he... he said he has a new family now and a baby on the way. He said Lily would be better off in foster care than with an alcoholic mother. But now that all that nightmare is in the past... Kate, I would be so happy if you and Lily would agree to be my family."
Kate looked with tenderness at the man who had pulled her up from the very bottom.
"You gave me a new life," she whispered. "And now you're giving me a new happiness."
Alex knelt down in front of Lily and took her small hand in his. "So, sweetheart, shall we go home? I won't let anyone hurt you or your mommy ever again."
The little girl gave him a trusting smile. Holding hands, the three of them walked toward the car. Kate lifted her head and gazed into the bottomless blue sky.
"Thank you," she whispered toward the heavens, knowing she was heard. "Thank you for everything!"
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