— How great that I took a day off today, — thought James, before opening his eyes. — Right now, Mary’s probably cooking something delicious for me, celebrating my unexpected day of rest.
When he opened his eyes, the room was bright and quiet. Unusually quiet. Too quiet. As if it wasn’t James who had taken the day off, but Mary, his wife.
Concerned, he quickly got out of bed and hurried to the kitchen, glancing at the clock on the way. It was already nine in the morning.
There was no breakfast on the kitchen table. After checking all the rooms, James realized that, for some reason, his wife wasn’t home either.
— What’s going on? — he muttered, annoyed. — Did she really run off to the shops first thing in the morning?
He found his phone and called his wife.
Mary didn’t pick up right away, and when she did, she sounded irritated and out of breath:
— Why are you calling me?
— Well, excuse me! — James exclaimed. — You could’ve at least made something for your husband to eat before vanishing. When I’m rushing to work, breakfast is always ready in the morning, but the one day I decide to relax—nothing.
— Oh, I can’t talk to you right now, — she said, still sounding annoyed for some reason.
— Where are you? — James tensed.
— Look out the window at the playground, — Mary said. — But hurry. People are already giving me looks.
James went to the window and looked outside. Sure enough, a group of women were gathered at the playground, huddled around a table where the guys used to play dominoes.
— What are you all doing out there?! — James exclaimed in surprise. — Are you playing dominoes or something?
— Yeah… dominoes… — his wife muttered angrily.
— Are you serious?!
But he didn’t hear her response because Mary hung up.
— Well, how about that… — James’s mind reeled. — What’s this all about? — he thought. — Are women now playing dominoes instead of the guys? Since when? What’s going on here?!
He dialed his wife’s number again and nearly shouted into the phone:
— Mary, come home right now! Stop messing with your husband!
— I’d love to, but the women won’t let me! — she snapped back just as sharply. — And stop yelling at me!
— Mary, are you my wife or what? I’m hungry, — James toned it down a bit. — Why do you think I took the day off? To spend time with you. And here you are, having fun with the ladies.
— James, stop shouting, — Mary said more calmly. — We’re in the middle of a serious battle here. If you’re that hungry, grab some eggs from the fridge and make yourself an omelet. Oh, and turn on the washing machine. I already loaded the laundry.
She hung up again.
— Alright… — James grumbled. — So, a mutiny on the ship… This is what she’s up to while I’m at work? And when I come home, it’s always, “I didn’t have time for this, I didn’t finish that.” Of course she didn’t—she’s too busy playing dominoes all day.
James felt a burning desire to march outside, storm up to the table, and break up the whole women’s gathering.
But his hunger was stronger.
He rushed to the fridge, turned on the stove on his way, and slammed a frying pan onto it. He poured oil into the pan and nervously cracked eggs into it.
As the omelet started to sizzle, he hurried to the bathroom to start the washing machine.
That didn’t go as smoothly. He pressed the “on” button, but the machine, for some reason, didn’t start. He fiddled with the other buttons on the panel, but the machine stayed suspiciously silent.
He had to search for the washing machine’s manual. While looking for it, he caught a whiff of something burning.
James ran back to the kitchen and saw that his omelet looked like a charred shoe sole.
Cursing under his breath, he scraped the mess onto a plate, bit his lip, and resumed his search for the manual.
The washing machine finally started half an hour later, thanks to a random button press.
But Mary still wasn’t home.
James remembered the omelet, returned to the kitchen, glared angrily at his culinary disaster, and decided not to risk it—he tossed it straight into the trash.
He went back to the window. The women were still at the table.
That was the last straw. He headed outside.
As James approached the table, he imagined grabbing Mary by the hand like a child, pulling her away from the table, and leading his guilty wife back to the apartment. But then he heard one of the women at the table exclaim in a tired voice:
— How long are we going to keep arguing here?! How much longer do we have to pick the building manager?! Why aren’t any men at this tenant meeting? If we had just one man here, we could dump this lousy job on him. Let him deal with all the responsibility!
Hearing this, James froze, turned on his heel, and, with his head ducked, hurried back.
Behind him, voices called out:
— Hey, sir, are you from our building by any chance?! Wait, sir!
James quickened his pace and… disappeared into his apartment building.
Back in the apartment, James let out a relieved sigh, went to the fridge with a newfound cheer, and, taking his time, started preparing breakfast again.
No comments