When the doorbell rang and Steven looked through the peephole, he couldn't believe his eyes. Standing on the other side of the door was his ex-wife, Julia.
"Who is it?" he asked, just to be sure.
"It's me..." a painfully familiar voice replied. "Steven, hurry up and open the door."
Steven opened the door with visible reluctance.
"How did you find me?" he asked, skipping the greeting in favor of an annoyed scowl.
"What, you're not happy to see me?" she shot back.
"How did you find me?" Steven repeated, his voice rising with irritation.
"We have way too many friends in common," she smirked. "So even though you rented a place out in the middle of nowhere, you can't hide from me. Are you going to let me in?"
"Fine, come in..." Steven stepped back a few paces. "But not for long."
"Should I take off my coat?" Julia asked as she crossed the threshold, shivering slightly.
"Don't bother," Steven snapped. "I can give you five minutes, no more. Then you're leaving."
"Why? Are you waiting for someone? Is there someone else?"
"What's it to you?" Steven glared at his ex-wife. "We got divorced exactly a month ago, right? I left you the house, right? What else do you want from me?"
"Why are you talking to me like that?" Julia said, sounding offended. "It's not like we're strangers."
"We are strangers! You told me that yourself plenty of times!"
"Oh, please..." she laughed. "Women say things they don't mean sometimes, haven't you heard?"
"Don't play games with me. Why are you here? If you need money, I'm not giving you any."
"Who said anything about money?" Julia's expression suddenly turned playful. "Honey, just imagine that I've come back to you."
"What?" Steven made a face. "Why on earth would you do that?"
"I've come back for a day." Julia winked at her ex-husband. "Just one day, that's all. And don't worry, I'll leave again tomorrow. But for today, you can have me back as your wife. I'll cook for you, and we'll go to bed together."
"What kind of nonsense is this?!" Steven exclaimed sternly. "Alright, turn around and head for the exit, lady."
"What's the big deal?!" she cried. "If you don't want to sleep with me, just say so. I won't lay a finger on you. But I need to stay the night here, okay?"
"And why is that?"
"I just do!" she burst out, her words coming in a frantic rush. "I invited another girl over here today—you don't know her. But she knows a friend of my new husband's. They work together."
"Why are you dumping all this on me?" Steven asked, suddenly feeling uneasy.
"Because I want my friend to tell my new husband's acquaintance that you and I had a 'meeting' tonight."
"Why?"
"Because! So he doesn't think he's the only man in the world."
"I see..." The meaning of her words finally began to sink in. "So, did you have a fight with your new boyfriend?"
"He's not a boyfriend!" Julia shouted indignantly. "He's my husband!"
"What husband? You haven't even married him yet."
"He's my common-law husband!"
"Oh, right..." Steven smirked. "So you slammed the door and walked out just to prove you have somewhere else to go. Is that it?"
"What, are you jealous of him?" Julia smiled, looking pleased with herself.
"On the contrary, I'm worried about something else entirely..." Steven paused, deep in thought. "So it turns out that tonight, in the house that is legally mine..."
"But you gave it to me!" Julia reminded him fearfully.
"In my house, some random guy I don't even know is going to be sleeping all alone... while you, like a homeless person, are crashing with strangers..."
"I'm crashing with you, not strangers!"
"No, that's out of the question. You can go to a friend's house. Meanwhile, he's going to be snoring in my house?"
"In my house!"
"No, in mine. And why should I allow that? I think I should put a stop to this criminal activity immediately."
"What criminal activity?"
"The usual. Trespassing. Your little Don Juan doesn't have any paperwork proving he has the right to spend the night in my house."
"So what?" Julia tensed up, a spark of genuine worry appearing in her eyes. "What are you implying?"
"I'm not implying anything. I'm telling you straight out: I'm calling the police right now to report a squatter in my house who's trying to take over my property. Actually, I'll just call Nick Evans. We went to high school together, and he's the precinct captain in that neighborhood."
"Are you crazy?!" Julia backed toward the door. "Don't you dare do that!"
"Why not? There are so many scammers out there these days, you have to be careful. I don't want my house disappearing into thin air."
Before Steven could even pull his phone out of his pocket, Julia lunged for the door. Shouting "You jerk!" one last time, she slammed the door with all her might.
***
P.S. By the way, you're probably wondering about that girl Julia invited to her ex-husband's place. She did show up. But that is a completely different story.
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