When the doorbell rang and James peered through the peephole, he couldn’t believe his eyes. Standing outside was his ex-wife, Emily.
— Who’s there? — he asked, just to be sure.
— It’s me… — came the painfully familiar voice. — James, open the door quick.
James reluctantly opened the door.
— How did you find me? — he asked, his tone sour instead of welcoming.
— What, you’re not happy to see me? — Emily shot back with a question of her own.
— How did you find me? — James repeated, his voice now tinged with irritation.
— We have too many mutual friends, — she smirked. — So, even if you rented an apartment in the middle of nowhere, you can’t hide from me. Are you going to let me in?
— Fine, come in… — James stepped back a few paces. — But not for long…
— Should I take off my coat? — Emily asked, crossing the threshold and shivering slightly.
— No need to get comfortable… — James cut her off firmly. — I can give you five minutes, tops. Then you leave.
— Why? Are you expecting someone? Have you met someone new?
— What’s it to you? — James glared at his ex-wife. — We got divorced exactly a month ago, right? I left you the apartment, didn’t I? What more do you want from me?
— Why are you talking to me like that? — Emily protested. — We’re not strangers, you know.
— Strangers! You’ve said that to me plenty of times!
— Oh, come on… — she chuckled. — All women talk too much, don’t you know that?
— Don’t try to sweet-talk me. Why do you need me? If it’s about money, I’m not giving you any.
— Money? What’s that got to do with it? — Emily suddenly put on a cheerful face. — Honey, imagine I’ve come back to you.
— What? — James grimaced. — Why on earth would you?
— I’m back for just one day, — Emily winked at her ex-husband. — Just one day, no more. Don’t worry, tomorrow I’ll leave again. But today, you can enjoy me as your wife. I’ll cook you dinner, and we can sleep together.
— What kind of nonsense is this?! — James exclaimed sternly. — Turn around and get out, lady.
— What’s the problem?! — she snapped. — If you don’t want to sleep with me, just say so. I won’t touch you. But I need to stay here tonight, got it?
— Why?
— Because! — she burst out, then hurriedly rambled on: — I invited another girl over tonight, someone you don’t know. But she knows a friend of my new husband. They work together.
— Why are you dumping all this on me? — James suddenly grew anxious.
— Because I want my friend to tell my new husband’s friend that you and I had a little reunion.
— Why?
— So he doesn’t think he’s the only man in the world!
— I see… — The meaning of her words started to dawn on James. — Did you have a fight with your new boyfriend or something?
— He’s not a boyfriend! — Emily exclaimed indignantly. — He’s my husband!
— What kind of husband? You haven’t even married him yet.
— He’s my common-law husband!
— Oh, that… — James smirked. — So, you slammed the door and stormed out to prove you’ve got somewhere else to go… Is that it?
— What, are you jealous of him? — Emily grinned smugly.
— On the contrary, I’m worried about something else entirely… — James paused, lost in thought. — So, tonight, in the apartment that’s still legally mine…
— But you left it to me! — Emily interrupted, her voice tinged with panic.
— In *my* apartment, some random guy I don’t know will be sleeping… Alone… While you, like a stray, are crashing at other people’s places…
— I’m crashing with you, not some stranger!
— No, that’s not happening. You’ll go stay with one of your friends… And he’s just going to be snoring away in my apartment?
— In *my* apartment!
— No, in *mine*… And why should he? I think I need to put a stop to this criminal activity immediately…
— What criminal activity?
— The usual. Taking possession of someone else’s property. Your little Don Juan doesn’t have any documents proving he has the right to stay in my apartment, does he?
— So what? — Emily tensed, a spark of worry flashing in her eyes. — What are you getting at?
— I’m not hinting. I’m saying straight up that I’m calling the police right now to report some con artist sleeping in my apartment, trying to steal my property. That’s it! I’ll call my old schoolmate, Nick Thompson, he’s the local precinct officer in that neighborhood.
— Have you lost your mind?! — Emily backed toward the door. — Don’t you dare!
— Why not? There are so many shady characters out there these days, you wouldn’t believe it. I’m not letting my apartment slip away to who-knows-where.
Before James could pull his phone from his pocket, Emily bolted for the door, shouting “jerk!” as she slammed it shut behind her.
P.S. By the way, you’re probably wondering about that girl Emily invited to her ex-husband’s apartment. She showed up. But that’s a whole different story.
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