My daughter and her husband have always lived on their own! Wait, how many years has it been just me and my husband now? Since the spring of 2018—seven and a half years! Our place is small, just a two-bedroom. We did some renovations to suit ourselves—nothing high-end, of course, but we freshened the place up. We put up new wallpaper, painted the ceilings, and put down hardwood floors. We even put a real bed in our room; we'd spent our whole lives sleeping on a pull-out sofa. And then my daughter calls and announces, "Mark and I have been thinking, and we've decided to move in with you! You don't mind, do you?"
***
In the half-empty, sterile white lobby of the local medical center, two women in their sixties sat on a bench outside one of the offices, quietly catching up.
"You're kidding!" the friend exclaimed. "That's all you need! What made them decide to drop themselves in your lap like that? One minute they're so 'independent,' moving out the second they hit twenty, and now, suddenly, it's 'can we stay with you?' What happened?"
"Nothing specific happened," the narrator sighed. "They just finally need to settle their housing situation. How long can you live in rentals? Their landlord just hiked the rent on them again, and there's nothing they can do—if you don't like it, hit the road. Finding a new place isn't exactly easy either. You have to pay the broker's fee, leave a deposit, move all your stuff again..."
"And no grandkids yet?"
"Well, you can't exactly raise kids in a rental, Vera. That's why my daughter is stressed; she's thirty already. They've been talking about a mortgage since the beginning. They planned to save for a down payment even before the wedding, but you know how it goes. It's always one thing or another. First it was dental work, then she was out of work for six months—not her fault, just the way things went. Now time is passing, and they're still in that same apartment, paying a fortune for it, I might add."
"A fortune? Like how much?"
"Well, it just went up to three thousand a month; it was a bit less before. Calculate how much money they've thrown down that black hole over seven years! It would've been half a house by now. I understand it all logically, Vera, but I really don't want to move back in with the kids right now, if you only knew! My husband and I have our own routine. I go to bed early and can't sleep with the light on, but he stays up half the night reading or watching his shows. How are we going to huddle together in one room? I won't even be able to watch TV in peace."
"Yeah, that's a problem. And this is for the long haul, I take it? Not just a year?"
"Of course not. My daughter says they'll try to save as fast as they can, living on her salary and saving his. But either way, it'll take three or four years, at least. And how many of those years do we even have left?"
"Well, just tell her straight out that you and your husband are against them moving in! Why not? You have to think about yourselves. Doesn't she realize that living with adult children in your golden years is never a good idea? You'll all just end up fighting."
"She says they're hardly ever home—they come in late, grab a bite, and go to bed. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if that's the case. Though even then, I'm in bed by ten, and that's right when they'll be coming home from work, running the water, clanking pots and pans. You can't even relax in your own home!"
"Can his parents help?"
"His parents have a three-bedroom, but his brother is there with his wife and the baby. There's definitely no room for them there. My husband says we'll probably just have to make room... but I just don't want to, and that's it! But I guess it's wrong not to let your own daughter in? Especially since she's still technically listed on the deed to this place anyway..."
***
What do you think? Is the daughter really in the wrong here? Not just moving back in herself, but dragging her husband along too! They're adults; they should solve their own problems instead of clinging to their parents.
Or maybe the parents are wrong? They pushed the girl out at twenty with a suitcase and a wedding ring, and didn't give it a second thought! They did a little "renovation to suit themselves," imagine that... Frankly, they didn't set their child up for success back then, so they should do it now. Help out however they can. Besides, she's still a legal resident of that home.
Whose side are you on? What's your take?
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