— Where are you off to in the middle of the night again? — Emily froze in the hallway. — Don’t pretend you can’t hear me. As long as you’re living with me, I have a right to know where you’re going and what you’re doing. I’m responsible for you!
— Mom, enough! I’m not a kid anymore. Am I going to be under your watch until I’m old enough to retire? — Natalie straightened up, brushed her bangs from her eyes, and stomped her foot lightly. Her gaze burned with resentment.
— Don’t yell. I was just asking. When will you be back? I won’t sleep until you’re home, and I have the early shift at work tomorrow…
— Enough! You’re smothering me with your overprotective nonsense, and I’m sick of it! Do you get that? I’m sick of you! — Natalie shouted in anger. — I hate you, — she muttered under her breath.
But Emily heard it. Words failed her as her daughter’s cruel phrases echoed in her mind, stabbing at her heart. Natalie threw on her coat and stormed out of the apartment, slamming the door loudly. Emily flinched, her shoulders slumping even further.
Lately, their relationship had been strained. Natalie had become sharp and irritable, responding to every comment with rudeness. She’d leave late at night and return at dawn. The cause of her behavior was Alex, Natalie’s new boyfriend.
Emily walked to the kitchen, her trembling hands placing the kettle on the stove. The match quivered in her grasp as if it were unbearably heavy. Her daughter’s carelessly thrown words echoed in her mind: “I hate you! You’re suffocating me!”
With unsteady steps, she approached the window and stared at the lights glowing in neighboring apartments.
“Suffocating… She doesn’t want to see me, wishes I wasn’t here… I never thought I’d hear that from my own daughter.”
Through the freshly fallen snow, Natalie ran across the courtyard, away from the house. Emily stood at the window, watching her daughter until she vanished from sight.
“What did I do wrong? Why has she become like this? She said she understands why her father left.”
Memories of Natalie’s childhood flashed through Emily’s mind. She recalled leading a young Natalie home from daycare, the little girl bouncing joyfully and chattering away. Then came the memory of her fight with David over his drunken behavior and the fact that she hadn’t had the chance to apologize.
Emily had truly wanted to come home and make up with her husband, to forget that he’d come home drunk and reeking of another woman’s perfume. But the apartment greeted her with deafening silence. The closet was empty—David was gone. No shirts, no pants, no suitcase that had been stored on top of the wardrobe. Emily rushed to the bedroom and opened the drawer where they kept their modest savings. Empty. David had left.
The realization hit Emily like a blow to the head.
“You’re suffocating me!”
Her heart refused to accept his departure.
Natalie sat in front of her mirror, talking to her reflection.
— Everyone abandons me, — she said. — Am I really that awful? I was ready to do anything for them, to have a normal life like everyone else, but they… When did I lose Natalie? I didn’t even notice, you know? It’s my fault she’s become like this. Do all kids turn out this way? I was always so scared of losing him, of losing her. What if she doesn’t come back? No, she’ll come back, she’ll come back, — Emily repeated like a mantra.
The kettle’s whistle snapped her out of her thoughts. As if watching herself from the outside, she brewed tea, tossed in a slice of lemon, and sat at the table. Strangely, her movements felt sluggish. Before she could process it, a sharp, throbbing pain shot through her head. She took a sip of tea, trying to breathe evenly to calm herself, but it didn’t help.
The pain didn’t relent for a second, and panic tightened its grip on her chest. Her eyelids grew heavy, her breathing uneven. Emily decided to lie on the couch. As she stood from the table, her head buzzed, and the objects around her lost their sharpness. She didn’t notice the haze clouding her vision or her body refusing to obey. A fleeting lightness gave way to unbearable heaviness.
Some time later, Emily came to, trying to stand, but her body wouldn’t respond. The right side of her body was paralyzed.
“Doctor, I need a doctor. Call an ambulance,” flashed through her mind.
The buzzing in her head grew louder, and a second attempt to rise failed. She lost consciousness again.
When she came to, a dull, pressing pain throbbed in her head.
“I can’t open the door anyway, and I can’t reach the phone. How much time has passed? When will Natalie come back? What if she doesn’t?”
Darkness enveloped her again.
— Mommy! Mom, wake up! What’s wrong with you? — Natalie’s voice came faintly from a distance.
With effort, Emily cracked open one eye. Through a narrow slit, she could just make out Natalie’s frightened, blurry face.
— Let me help you, get up! — Natalie tried to lift her mother.
Emily suddenly realized she shouldn’t be moved and felt a wave of fear. Natalie grabbed the phone and called an ambulance.
— Hold on, just a minute, the doctors are coming, they’ll help you, — her daughter’s voice wavered between a shout and a whisper.
Emily saw tears streaming down Natalie’s cheeks, one of them falling onto her face, but she couldn’t feel it.
The next time she opened her eyes, Emily saw a stark white wall.
— Mom! — Natalie’s cry pierced the hospital room. — You’re finally awake! It’s my fault, I’m so sorry! I shouldn’t have yelled at you.
Every day, Natalie visited the hospital, feeding her mother with a spoon, tucking her in, and adjusting her pillow. Over time, Emily began to walk again, though her speech remained slurred and halting. The doctor reassured them that recovery would take time and rushing wouldn’t help.
Natalie and her mother returned home by taxi. Natalie became a model of care and attention, but Emily sensed something was off. One day, she noticed her daughter looked pale and exhausted and suggested she go outside for fresh air more often.
— Mom, make up your mind. First, you won’t let me go anywhere, now you’re pushing me out, — Natalie said with a sad smile. — Mom, I’m sorry, I— — she broke down in tears.
— Oh, my girl, — Emily whispered. Her hands barely obeyed, but she managed to hug her daughter.
Whether Emily overheard or figured it out herself, she learned of Natalie’s pregnancy.
“He left her, that’s why she’s staying home. Poor thing.”
— Don’t worry, sweetheart, — Emily said firmly. — We’ll manage. I’ll pull through for my grandkids, you’ll see!
— Mom, I’m so sorry, I was such an idiot. I thought… What was I even thinking? I fell in love, thought it was real, but he… As soon as he found out, he left me.
— It’s okay, it’s not the end of the world. You came home just in time, a little later and we might not have made it. It’s harder to manage alone, but I’ll help you. Don’t be afraid.
They spent the whole day holding hands, their conversation warm and calm for the first time in a long while. They made plans for the future, picking names for a girl and a boy.
Five months later, Natalie gave birth to a healthy girl and took a leave from college. Over the year, Emily nearly fully recovered, with only an unsteady gait betraying the effects of her illness.
Children always rush to grow up and break free from parental care, often speaking harshly and hurting the people who love them most and only want to help.
Only when faced with the near loss of her closest person did Natalie realize how wrong, ungrateful, and unbearable she had been.
The only person who loves unconditionally is a mother, pouring a piece of herself into her child. That love leaves her vulnerable to her own child, bearing the brunt of their anger, accusations, and resentment.
0 comments