I'm fourteen years old, and something happened to me recently that's just too awkward to talk about with my friends. I've been thinking for a long time about who to turn to. It feels a bit silly to go to a school counselor for advice on this, so I decided to look for answers online. Maybe someone else out there, especially someone my age, has been through this and can tell me how to handle it or what to do.
Basically, not long ago, I picked up my mom's phone. I needed to look something up because mine was dead. Mom was in the shower, and I didn't even ask permission because I didn't think she had anything to hide. I went to tap the browser icon but accidentally opened the photo gallery instead. That's where I saw them—a few private photos.
My mom had taken pictures of herself, and she was topless in them. I still haven't figured out how to feel about it, and I don't know how to just accept it or be okay with it. When she came out of the bathroom, I told her I'd used her phone and explained why, but of course, I couldn't bring myself to admit what I'd actually seen. I mean, what would be the point?
Now, this whole situation feels like it's going to haunt me for a long time. I don't know if I should be worried about her, or if this is just a normal thing for adults. I know she's entitled to her own life and it doesn't just revolve around me. Still, it would be a huge weight off my shoulders if someone could help explain her actions from a psychological or emotional perspective.
***
My dad left us a few years ago. Mom loved him; she really did. But things just didn't work out between them. Like my dad said, they just grew apart, and sometimes that happens. I don't have any hard feelings toward him; he tries to visit whenever he's back in town. He also sends child support directly to my debit card regularly. Overall, I'm pretty happy with our relationship.
As for my mom's dating life, I know she fell for a guy recently. But as for whether they are officially "together" or not, I'm not sure. I find myself eavesdropping when she's on the phone with her best friend just to stay in the loop. I know it's wrong, but I worry about her, and she doesn't really tell me anything herself. From what I've gathered, they're seeing each other now, but for some reason, they have to keep it a secret.
***
A couple of years ago, she had a bad experience with a guy who was still married at the time. He kept feeding her lines about how he was going to file for divorce soon, but there was always some reason to delay it. Either his wife was pregnant again, or the youngest kid got sick, or the oldest was starting first grade.
Mom got tired of waiting, and they were constantly fighting and breaking up. In the end, that man didn't choose my mother; he put her through the wringer and completely exhausted her emotionally.
That breakup ended with Mom falling into a deep depression. She shut down, and I never heard another word from her about dating until now. I'm terrified that this new guy might be another jerk, like the married guy, and that he might leak her photos online. If that happened, Mom would be even more heartbroken, not to mention humiliated. I just don't know if I should tell her what I saw.
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