I’ve caught my wife several times now texting another man.
A bit about myself. I’ve been married for several years. Everything seemed to be going well. We live in our own apartment, we have a car. We both work, and we have enough money. I recently got a great promotion, which increased my salary even more. Every year, we go on vacation, always to the place my wife chooses.
We met in a very ordinary way. I called a number and ended up talking to her. We spoke for hours and realized we’d been searching for each other our whole lives. We dated briefly, then got married. A year later, our wonderful daughter was born, and I love her dearly.
My wife and I agreed that I’d be the one to provide for the family. No, don’t get me wrong—I didn’t forbid her from working. I just always wanted our home to smell of fresh bread, to be clean and cozy. My wife’s job allows her to spend most of her time at home, only occasionally visiting the office.
Things went on like this until it was time to send our daughter to kindergarten. With more free time, my wife started spending a lot of it on social media, chatting with friends. I didn’t mind because I always trusted her.
She told me she was texting with old schoolmates and college friends. I’m not in the habit of checking her messages. Everything was fine until that fateful day. Until then, I trusted her completely. I should also mention that when we met, she had a son, whom I grew to love. I never treated her son and our daughter differently; I cared for them equally. I always treated my wife well, practically carrying her in my arms. And in return, I got such betrayal.
One day, I caught her by accident. She was sitting in an armchair, engrossed in her phone, typing something. I quietly approached from behind, planning to cover her eyes with my hands and surprise her. She was so absorbed that she didn’t hear my footsteps. When I got close, I saw her texting another man. She had no choice but to confess.
She begged for forgiveness, practically on her knees. She said it wasn’t serious, that she was only texting and had never met him in person. I loved her so much that I believed her. Not right away, though. I moved in with a friend for a few days to think things over. Then I decided to forgive her for the sake of our children.
For a whole year, everything was wonderful. She was so tender and attentive that I started to forget the incident. Then came New Year’s, which we celebrated with friends. That’s when I overheard a conversation between her and her friend that shattered me. Her friend asked about that man, whether she was still in touch with him. My wife replied that she was, but to avoid trouble, she only texted him when I wasn’t home.
— Are you still talking to him?
— Yes, but I’m careful. I only text when James isn’t around.
When I heard this, the ground fell out from under me. I left the house and don’t want to see her anymore. I miss the kids terribly, so I visit them at my mother-in-law’s place. She’s a wonderful person. Recently, I found out who my wife’s lover is. It’s a colleague from her workplace.
I found his wife’s phone number and called her. She told me she wasn’t surprised because he has many mistresses. I decided to confront my wife about it. I went to her and told her everything. At first, she tried to deny it, but then came the tears and hysterics. This time, I didn’t fall for it. I can’t trust her anymore. My heart is burning, and I miss the kids so much.
But I can’t live in this lie. How can I trust a woman who, just months ago, begged for forgiveness while continuing to text another man? I’ve lost my peace of mind, become nervous and irritable, and I barely sleep.
I’m planning to file for divorce. I’ll keep in touch with the kids, but I don’t want to see her anymore, and I can’t. Can anyone offer advice on how to move forward?
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