I do not know what to do, especially considering that my son is almost thirty years old. Every mother, if she has a great sense of responsibility, is always afraid to hear words in her address that she did not take place as a mother. I’m one of those women. But I don’t want to believe it, I really don’t want to think that I once made such a mistake that can’t be corrected now.
I am writing in the hope that someone will tell me what can be done. I live with my second husband, who is the stepfather of my adult son. The son, by the way, already has his own family, he and his wife are the parents of two charming little girls. They live very close to me, across the street from my house.
I would not say that we have always lived soul to soul with him. There were misunderstandings, quarrels and even major scandals. My son has never been an example in his studies, but I could not be angry with him for this, since he often missed school due to numerous illnesses. His father left us early, although the boy remembered him at the time of childhood and youth. I even tried to find him, thinking that I forbid them to communicate. But his father himself did not seek contact with him. As soon as my son realized this, it became much easier for me to get along with him.
When I see him, I have the feeling that I did something to him. I tried to talk to his wife, but she just throws up her hands. Someone might think that the reason is my second husband. But he practically did not meddle in our communication. One day his son told him that he had no right to shout at him and bring him up, because he was not his own father. My husband, an extremely sensitive and gentle person, remembered this and since then has not tried to show male firmness in education. So I had to be his mom and dad for the two of us.
Once I asked him to come to me and help. I don’t remember what exactly I needed, but I remember that it was something trivial. It seems that it was necessary to help sort out the TV or computer. He just got up from the table, took his wife by the hand and left my house.
It would seem, absolutely from scratch. So I do not know what I could have done. To see my granddaughters, I have to write off or call my daughter-in-law. She knows what’s going on anyway, she just won’t tell me. Yes, that’s what she says – figure it out for yourself, I don’t want to interfere, I’m a neutral party.
Given my already far from young age, I don’t want to take offense at him or arrange scandals and showdowns. To be honest, there is a great danger that he will simply forbid me to see my granddaughters. I’m not doing anything about talking to him right now. I just pray to God and hope that everything will be fine.
I try to call him or text him sometimes, just to check if the ice has broken. I thought that if I stopped touching him at all, he would reach out to me. But in the few months that we didn’t communicate, he stopped coming in and calling himself at all. I’m not even asking for advice on what to do, but at least an opinion on what could lead to such drastic changes.