When I was only seven years old, my parents decided to divorce. My father got bored with family life, and he started an affair on the side. When mom found out about everything, he wanted to fix the situation, said that the affair meant nothing to him. At first I was happy, because my mother tolerated him next to her as much as she could. They decided to stay together for me. But for a long time her patience was not enough, and she still kicked him out.
But this marriage was firmly deposited in her memory as the most unfortunate experience. She didn’t dare to have a relationship for a long time, and all the time she was only doing her job to provide me with a decent future, and so that I could afford everything I needed for a comfortable life.
I was studying at the university when it happened. Mom one day announced that she couldn’t be alone anymore and still decided to try to meet someone. She had been dating a man for several months, and I had no idea about anything. Or maybe she just didn’t want to know.
Maxim turned out to be twelve years younger than her. I didn’t expect this from my mom. I always thought that if she had someone, that someone would be at least older than her, personable and mature. I didn’t expect to see a boy, and that’s how he looked next to her.
There was something else that made me just numb with shock. When he entered the apartment, I saw his eyes and realized that I was missing… I have never felt such feelings at first sight for anyone. And maybe I would have tried to forget this incident if I hadn’t caught his equally infatuated gaze.
I don’t know if Mom noticed anything at that moment, but we tried not to look at each other all evening. It must have looked very, very strange. For a while I stopped seeing him at our house at all. And so it was until I was twenty-one years old.
We decided to celebrate in a quiet family circle – he, Mom and me. And when they called her, she went into another room to talk, and I couldn’t stand it and pulled him to me. The best part about it is that he kissed me and didn’t pull away. I was very afraid of this.
We agreed with him that he would meet secretly from his mother. It looked so childish, but so exciting. A kind of spy games where the whole world is against us, and we have to be very careful not to get caught.
But as time went on, my mother had no idea about anything, and my conscience kicked in. I couldn’t play hide-and-seek for a long time and decided to tell her everything. I wanted her to scream and hate me, to call me the last words. It would be much easier for me that way. But seeing her tears, seeing how she was hurt, I hated myself much more than she could hate me.
Mom didn’t talk to me for a week, but then she gradually thawed out and said she forgives me. Maybe for someone it will seem wild, but mom allowed Maxim to visit our house as my boyfriend. She says that deep down she understood that they could not be together for a long time, that they had too big a gap in spiritual terms. So everything turned out as well as possible.
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