I am forty-eight years old, half of which I lived in my first marriage. And it was successful, so to speak. My husband has been gone for several years, and it was very hard for me to come to terms with it. I have two daughters from my first husband, they are both adults, one is twenty-two, and the second will soon turn twenty.
I didn’t love this man enough to be able to describe our romance in such words as there are in books. But I respected him very much, he gave me a lot, and later turned out to be the closest person to me. Despite the fact that he never got love from me, I never even thought about cheating on him.
Our marriage was good in its own way, and we were happy. As I said, this loss has hurt me. I wasn’t prepared at all for the fact that he could leave so early. But after a year had passed since his death, a man came into my life, who turned out to be my true love. This was already very similar to what they write about in books and what romantic films are made about.
We have feelings with him that I didn’t even hope to ever experience. The daughters, of course, noticed that their mother had changed in her behavior. Only if the older one was genuinely happy for me, then I didn’t see such enthusiasm in the younger one. She just took the news calmly.
My man and I started living with him, and then he proposed to me, a few months later I got married again. My eldest daughter also got married and I am very happy for her. After she got married, they began to live in her husband’s apartment. I am also pleased that over the years that she grew up before my eyes, we have not lost a family connection and now we communicate as well as before. Despite the fact that I have a new husband.
But things are not so rosy with the youngest daughter. One day she overheard me on the phone talking to my friend. The subject of discussion was both my husbands, I told her that I did not love the first one, and also about the strength of feelings for my current husband. And since then, the younger one has distanced herself from me completely.
Now it’s very difficult for us to communicate, she doesn’t reach out to me at all. If I offer to come or call for a chat, she invents reasons just not to make contact. It can’t be that she came by herself. I no longer know how to get her to talk and win over.
As soon as I touch on this difficult topic, she starts crying, closes herself in and hangs up. More or less, she only talks to her older sister. It was she who told me the reason for such a change in my daughter’s behavior. The fact is that she perceives me as a traitor. My daughter thought that I would remain faithful to him until the end of my days, and I got married.
All her life she has been very close to him and now she does not want to enter into my position and understand that mom also needs to feel happy. That’s why she can’t overcome herself and communicate with me at least occasionally. She thinks that for her to communicate with me will be the same betrayal, and she does not want to do this with her father.
The younger one still hasn’t let him go in her heart, can’t survive his death and still yearns. And I don’t blame her for that, on the contrary, I understand very well. Only here I do not know what to do in this situation for me. I really love my man. And I hope that I will never have to choose between my daughter and my husband.
I would like to hear some advice, did I really act like a traitor?