– How good that I took the day off today, – Igor thought before opening his eyes. – Now, probably, Masha is preparing something delicious for me, on the occasion of my unexpected vacation.
When he opened his eyes, the room was bright and quiet. Unusually quiet. Very quiet. As if it wasn’t Igor who took the day off, but Masha, his wife.
Worried, he quickly got out of bed and hurried to the kitchen, casually glancing at the clock. It was already nine in the morning.
There was no breakfast on the kitchen table. Looking into all the rooms, Igor found that his wife was not at home, for some reason.
– What is it? – he muttered discontentedly. – Did she really run to the shops early in the morning?
He found his cell phone and started calling his wife.
Masha did not pick up the phone right away and immediately puffed with displeasure:
– Why are you calling me?..
– Wow! Igor exclaimed. – You could have cooked something to eat for your husband first before disappearing from the house. When I’m in a hurry to work, breakfast is always ready in the morning, and as soon as I decided to rest for a day, there is nothing.
– Oh, I can’t talk to you right now, – again, for some reason, she said in a dissatisfied tone.
– Where are you? Igor tensed up.
“Look out the window and look at the playground,” Masha said. – Only faster. People are already looking at me askance.
Igor went to the window and looked at the street. Indeed, women were crowding on the playground, for some reason, leaning over the table on which the men used to “kill the goat”.
– What are you doing there?! Igor exclaimed in surprise. – Are you playing dominoes?
– Yeah… In dominoes… – his wife muttered angrily.
– Are you serious?!
But he did not hear an answer, because his wife disconnected the connection.
– Here’s one for you… – everything turned upside down in Igor’s brain. – What is it, – he thought, – is it really now that women have begun to hammer into a goat instead of men? From what fright? What kind of news is this?!
He dialed his wife’s phone again and almost shouted into it:
– Masha, go home immediately! Don’t mock your husband!
– I would be glad, but women won’t let me go! – the wife answered just as sharply and angrily. – And anyway, don’t yell at me!
– Masha, are you my wife or who? I’m hungry,” Igor slowed down a little. – Why did I take the day off? To communicate with you. And you’re having fun with the women at this time.
“You, Igor, don’t shout,– Masha said calmly. – Here we have a serious fight. And you, if you really want to eat, take the eggs in the refrigerator, make yourself scrambled eggs. And turn on the washing machine. I’ve already put my underwear in there.
My wife passed out again.
– So… – the husband grumbled. – So there’s a mutiny on the ship… So that’s what she does while I’m at work? And when I come home, she starts: “I didn’t have time to do it, I didn’t do it.” That’s right – she didn’t have time… Because it knocks on dominoes all day long.
Igor had a passionate desire to go out into the yard, approach the table and disperse all this female company.
But I wanted to eat, after all, stronger.
He hurried to the refrigerator, casually turned on the stove and put the frying pan on it with a bang. Then he poured oil into the pan, and nervously began to beat eggs there.
When the scrambled eggs sizzled slightly, he quickly went to the bathroom to turn on the washing machine.
Things got worse with this one. He pressed the “on” button, but the car, for some reason, did not work. He tried to sort out the other buttons on the panel, but still, the car was suspiciously silent.
I had to look for instructions for the washing machine. While I was looking, I smelled burnt.
Igor ran into the kitchen and saw that the scrambled eggs had the appearance of overcooked soles.
Cursing, he dumped this burner into a plate, and, biting his lip, again went in search of instructions.
The washing machine started working only after half an hour, and then thanks to the accidental pressing of some button.
And there was still no wife.
Igor remembered about the scrambled eggs, returned to the kitchen, angrily admired the actual cooked dish and decided not to risk it – immediately threw it into the garbage bucket.
I went to the window again-the women were still at the table.
Then he couldn’t stand it and went into the yard.
When Igor approached the table, he imagined how he would simply take Masha by the hand like a child, pull her out from behind the table by force, and then take his guilty wife to the apartment. But suddenly he heard a woman sitting at this table exclaim in a tired voice:
– And how long are we going to fight here?! How long are we going to choose the main one around the house?! Why don’t we have men at the tenants’ meeting? Now, if only one man were here, and we would push this dog position on him. They would have shifted all responsibility to him!
Igor, hearing this, braked sharply, turned around, and, pressing his head into his shoulders, went back.
And they were already shouting after him:
– Hey, man, are you by any chance from our house?! Wait, man!
Igor went faster and … disappeared into his entrance.
Returning to the apartment, Igor breathed out a sigh of relief, with a cheerful mood he went back to the refrigerator, and slowly began to prepare breakfast for himself.