It’s not just a letter-it’s my heartache. I can’t hold a grudge in my heart anymore. Neither tears nor prayer help restore balance. The ground is knocked out from under my feet, I feel just trampled, destroyed.
Inside, everything is bubbling-boiling, trying to spill out into the wild, and there is no one to even speak out. Parents won’t believe it, but girlfriends? Does anyone sincerely sympathize? That’s why I decided to share it with you.
I thought our marriage was perfect
Sergey and I got married three years ago. Both were in their late twenties. I always knew that I would not marry a “green fool”, I wanted a serious, balanced relationship with an experienced person who could not only love, but also appreciate, respect his soul mate, I would like to have children. That’s how he seemed to me. When we met, Sergey was still studying at the medical university. I liked that the guy is always neatly dressed, has polished shoes to a shine, is sustained in conversation. I never got excited about anything, I knew how to get away from other people’s quarrels and gossip, and more than once I was caught interfering in other people’s affairs. He found a way out of any unpleasant story without making “scenes”. Then I felt protected. And also, like honey, the fact that Sergey did not run after girls, was not noticed in noisy companies fell on his soul.
After graduating from university, he got a job in one of the medical institutions of the city. His parents bought housing on the outskirts of the city, and Sergey made me such a long-awaited marriage proposal. I was so happy because I believed that my dream had finally come true!
And indeed, the first months of living together seemed idyllic. My husband was caring, attentive to me. And I loved him. I tried to meet with a smile from night shifts, cook something delicious, and pamper in bed. As time passed, I began to notice that he admired my culinary skills, but was indifferent to my caresses. I changed my hairstyle – I noticed, but the relationship did not improve in bed. I signed up for the gym, lost a few pounds – it also excited him very much. I tried to share this problem with my mother, and she gave a lecture that I do not know what I want, that I have an ideal man, helps in everything, does not fidget anywhere, brings money to the house, and also brings me out like a swell.
Maybe Mom is right, and I already want a lot of things, I thought. Maybe he gets tired at work, and that’s the reason? But soon I began to notice strange things for my beloved.
Sergey kept his hand on Tanya’s lap
For the first time, I suspected something “wrong” at Sergei’s anniversary. He invited his work colleagues to visit. My sister Tatiana (a few years younger than me) was also with us. I admit, our relationship has not been very good since childhood. She always seemed to me boring, quiet. You can’t talk about anything interesting with her, or make a joke. And here the girl started talking like never before. When Sergey’s colleagues dispersed, I went to wash the dishes, leaving them alone. Then I had to take something from the room. Suddenly I opened the door and saw that Sergey was having a nice conversation with Tanya, and he was holding my sister’s hand on his lap.
I even opened my mouth in surprise. Realizing that they were caught by surprise, Sergei would shake crumbs from Tanya’s knees, then asked me to give him a towel. He was wiping something else there, and I ran out because I felt uneasy.
The next time I met them together at the market – for some reason they were choosing products together. It was a working day, Sergey said he was going on a business trip, joked that he wanted to surprise me and asked my sister for help, and I ruined everything. “What’s the occasion?” she asked. “Just like that,” he replied. Since then, I began to look closely at Tanya. Plain? And the girlfriends say that they are very cute. Quiet? Mom explains that she is just shy and modest. And then what am I? It turns out: good, confident, stubborn and strong.
“It’s your own fault that Sergei doesn’t love you,” my sister blurted out when I tried to talk to her about my suspicions. – Always thought I was worse? And he says I’m better-both in the kitchen and in bed! And anyway, if we could have children. It’s your fault that I can’t get pregnant.
Those accusations took my tongue away. What is to blame? That when she was a child, chasing me, she climbed over the fence, got caught and stumbled upon a metal rod? I didn’t push her, God forbid, and I didn’t wish her such evil.
I realized that Tanya was not thinking of retreating. Therefore, I decided to show determination and started talking to Sergey about a divorce.
Oh, he didn’t expect this. The face instantly changed. He began to ask not to take rash steps and give him another chance. He swore that he would leave Tanya, if only I would give birth to his son.
He goes to bed with me – and sends “text messages” to another
That night I got pregnant. And since really how things have changed. Indeed, as soon as I told my husband about my piquant state, I began to live like in paradise. Sergey walked with me a lot, did all sorts of exercises, did not allow me to lift anything heavy, helped in the kitchen and with cleaning, and almost daily showered me with flowers and all sorts of trinkets. And the happiness did not last long – just until little Vadim and I were discharged home. And then? Hell has started for me again. Although for everyone around us, as always, we remained the perfect family. Sergey praised in public what a good mother and loving wife I was, but at home he seemed to forget about my existence. I was shaking from the very thought that he was going to bed with me and sending “text messages” to her, Tanya. But I endured, hoping that my son would grow up, and Sergei would wake up.
Vadim is already in the first grade, and the romance between my sister and her husband is still. I haven’t talked to her at all for six years. And the parents won’t understand what’s the matter, and everyone is trying to reconcile us.